The Messy Pumpkin Escapade

Duff here. The other Day, Mom was whipping up My dinner. Pumpkin is a Condiment of My Cuisine, for it helps soothe My Tummy. We were chatting along, and She absentmindedly put the Container too close to the Edge of the Kitchen Counter. Down It went, leaving a Smattering of the Orange Stuff all over the Floor. Of course, I helped Her clean up. How could I not? And I made Her Laugh. Living unstuck.

This incident reminded Mom of a Scene from her Childhood. She was trying to open a Jar of French’s Mustard. She twisted and turned the Lid, but it was Stuck on Tight. Suddenly, the Top flew off. And Wham! The Jar landed square on the Floor and concussed that Yellow Condiment all over the area. Up her Dress. Into her Hair. Across the Ceiling. Onto the Counter. Into the Sink. She was even finding flecks of that Intrepid Mustard in the Cupboards for Months afterward. What an adventure! Living unstuck.

How about You? Have You had a firm Grip on Something, but then It got Away from You? Or are You always Sure Handed? I say: You might Slow down and Mind what You’re doing. I suspect if Mom had not been chatting with Me? No issues. As for the Mustard? It was long before My Time. Not on My Watch. Living unstuck. #unstuck-living#pumpkin-escapade

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what
forgiveness is to sin.

—P.J. O’Rourke