Heard of a “barn sour” horse? Their home is their castle, and they don’t want to leave the barn. They resist, or even completely refuse if you try to ride that animal away from their comfort zone. Some horses become barn sour because they are worked too hard every time they are ridden, or asked to repeat challenging lessons without a break. They would just as soon be in their stalls than be ridden. Others turn toward home because they may be insecure and want to stay safe. Impatient to get home so they can end work is key. Even more dangerous is if they rear or buck when you try to ride away from their safe zone. Because an adventure in the great unknown would be too scary. Too overwhelming.
Am I “barn sour?”
Maybe you’re having a hard time getting past the COVID stay-at-home isolation. It got far too easy to work from home in your jammies with your bunny slippers on. Yummy snackerels close by. Sure, you’re dressed from the waist up for Zoom meetings, but the bottom half is pure comfort.
Or perhaps you’re recently divorced, or have broken up with your forever sweetie. The idea of going anywhere all by YOURSELF is too much to handle. You were used to being a twosome. And now? Table for one, please.
Or you might have been hurt in an accident. As you recovered, being at home was comfy and cozy. If you were a horse, someone brought you hay. Sweet feed. Clean water. They groomed you. Cleaned up after you. You might get fat, lazy, complacent. Same with humans. Barn sour.
“Barn sour” people hate to be bossed around. Eat, watch tv, snore. Repeat. If required by circumstances to join the Real World, they may get righteously barn sour.
Moving past this condition
Want to join the human race again? Here are a few tips:
- Start slow. Make an appointment with yourself to go to the local coffee shop and talk with one person. Just one. Check that off your list. Repeat for a week. Then a month. You’re making new patterns in your brain.
- Ask a friend to join you. You’re comfortable in your new safe place. Ask a friend or two join to join you. Let’s expand that comfort zone.
- Try something different. Always wanted to try snowshoeing? Or kayaking? Or hiking? Or fishing? Painting? Shift gears and check out some classes or go on Meet Up where you will be around other folks. New people. New horizons.
- Throw a potluck dinner party. You can provide the main dish. And aren’t you curious to see what everyone else brings? (PS: it’s also motivation to clean up your abode.)
Do something enjoyable when you’re out and about. You are in the habit of going out. Then coming right back home. But the magic is in the novelty. Enjoy different.
As for me? I’m fixing to clear out my storage unit. I’ll ask some friends to stop by and see if they want any of my precious treasures. Or not. Living unstuck!