Resistance

A new way of eating. Buying a new jacket. A new business. A decision to cut back: on what money goes out, time on Facebook, less time with energy vampires, less attention to naysayers. On to: A decision to be more positive. A new direction for the business. And I start by saying to myself, “Okay. Today’s the day the balloon goes up.” And off I go. Or is it really that simple?

For me, I first need to gear up. Get unstuck. Align my energy. Check out my negative self talk and quiet it to a dull roar. You know that chit chat, the words that whisper, “Will this be successful?” “Can I do this?” “What if it fails?” “Learning Zoom is hard. Maybe . . .” I figure those thoughts may be there somewhere, but they don’t need to be front and center. So I set aside a specific amount of time. And start.

Ah, the start. Resistance creeps in. I’m hungry. (That one always pops up.) Maybe an apple. I should make some tea. Sort my sock drawer. Text a friend. A muffin would be better. The temptation I can create can be overwhelming. Amazing I accomplish anything at all. And that way of being feels stuck. My mind idles in one place.

Then I remember Brene Brown saying, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” I can choose to be open, for the first start will always feel wrong. No matter what I do. Or how much I prepare. Or how hard I push. It will always need to be reshaped. Refined in some way. And I have learned that’s a part of creating.

But how to move past resistance? Here are some ideas to get going:

• Take stock of what’s going on. Is there something you’re doing that’s keeping you stuck? Perhaps the situation is not in your control. Or maybe you need patience to let it work itself out. Step back and take in the big picture. Then move on it.
• Check self talk. Is what you’re saying to yourself nothing but negative? Did someone tell you, “You can’t do this. It’ll never be good enough.” Thank those thoughts for sharing and send them on their way.
• Accept that you’ll have bad beginnings . . . and move on. So you gave it your all for a new position. But were rejected. It doesn’t mean you’re a loser. It means that job wasn’t a good fit. Back to the drawing board and continue the search for the right position. You’re the CEO of your life. Adjust your sails and cruise toward your destination.
• What’s the smallest step you can take to get where you want to be? Do that today. Congratulate yourself on that mini success. Then immediately figure out what the next step will be. I did that when I began walking. I was so out of shape it took me an hour (that’s right, 60 minutes) to walk up and down a nearby hill. Rather than being discouraged, that time was my benchmark. Anything under that was gold. The next day? 59 minutes. And on it went.

What if . . . ? Ask yourself, “What if I could do this? How would I feel?” Then move on to the next step, “What do I need to do to feel that way?” Then do that. If you’re stuck, you are in a bad trance. Use self hypnosis to shift that perception and move to a new point of view. And yes, it’s that simple.